


Blood Borne

by ObsidianRomance



Series: Blood Borne Apocolypse 'Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Apocalypse, M/M, Mpreg, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 09:31:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidianRomance/pseuds/ObsidianRomance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four years after the zombie epidemic takes over most of the planet, Jared and Jensen are able to make a life for themselves.  Until they fuck up and Jensen gets pregnant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blood Borne

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: HORROR, zombies, gore, graphic birth, cursing, blink and you'll miss male lactation, mpreg!Jensen (and he's not happy about it)  
> Word Count: 8,375  
> Rating: Hard R

“Jared! Move!” Jensen swung his arms, hands clasped tightly around a 9mm Beretta, directly towards his partner.  He steadied himself and aimed the gun, laying in wait for Jared to move the barest fraction out of the way.  When he finally did, Jensen completed his halfway pull on the trigger and sent a bullet whizzing past Jared’s jaw bone and burrowing into the skull of their recent living dead acquaintance.  A splatter of decaying syrupy blood landed across Jared’s neck, but he didn’t flinch.  Instead he used the moment to slam another cartridge into his own gun and spin around in his personal mini shooting spree.

Jensen clicked his tongue loud enough to be heard over their shooting and Jared arched to the left, letting a fresh bullet from Jensen’s gun disable another zombie before he got too close for comfort.

If Jared hadn’t moved just the right amount, if Jensen hadn’t been the shooter, his husband would have been dead.

But they were used to this, this was their new normal.

Landing themselves in another seemingly desolate town in search of supplies is part of their rotating routine list.

Usually, with Jared’s sense of navigation and Jensen’s shooting skills they are able to hit up the more off the map dangerous towns, the ones people steered clear of for years.  They harbor more of the undead and some consider navigating them to be suicide. 

Before the world was overrun with the dead, Jared and Jensen never let anyone tell them what to do.  That type of stubbornness doesn’t die just because the world is.  With the right amount of ammo and recklessness, they found ways to forage through almost every city they’ve come across.  Since the living are usually smart enough to pass by a situation with the odds heavily stacked against them, the towns Jensen and Jared raid are well stocked – in both food and weapons.  They try sticking to areas close enough to safe cover, but common sense hasn’t prevented them from taking on a few suicide missions.  It’s easier because they stick to themselves, only trusting each other to watch their backs.

It helps that Jensen never misses a shot.  Ever.

They’ve been doing pretty well for themselves.  They pass other humans but quickly lose them when their way of life proves too dangerous for them. 

Some think their lifestyle is going to kill them.  Jared thinks it is what keeps them alive.

They’ve made a niche for themselves in this fucked up world, a place where they can thrive and grow.  It isn’t fun and it isn’t pretty, but the “Red Zones” are their playing grounds.  Those places come with an odd comfort, the realization that they still have the power to pave their own way, to destroy in a way that gives a microscopic amount of power back to human kind for the moment.

It gives them a purpose.  It is what they do.  They eradicate one over run town after another, providing a sense of justice that should have died along with so many of their loved ones.  The danger zones are their place in life and they thought they could fight it out there until someone finds a cure, or the living civilization wins out over the dead’s, or they are the last two on earth.

They thought wrong.

Their plan was to keep fighting as they bounced from Red Zone to Red Zone.  This way, they would stay on their feet, stay sharp, stay determined.  It is hard to forget the meaning of life when you are fighting for your own every day.  It was a good plan.

Until Jensen ended up pregnant.

Like most things in the world these days, everything is going to shit.  It’s why their bad luck shouldn’t have shocked them.

They made a mistake, as humans they are prone to do so; it was how this whole zombie fiasco started to begin with.

They didn’t realize their mistake at first.  They thought it was malnutrition causing Jensen’s exhaustion.  When he starts retching at what they have long considered the normal stench of the world – rotting corpses, stale air – they think that maybe they raided a bad batch of canned food the other week.

But when his middle swells despite their limited intake of food, Jensen can’t prevent himself from thinking about what his ignorance is doing its best to deny.

A few years ago, the revelation may have been met with something that could pass for happiness.  Instead it came with a death sentence.

There is absolutely no way they can have a baby, let alone go through a pregnancy, and survive; there is no way for any sane couple at least.

But the world has already left them with limited possibilities and without easy access to a medical professional, even the back alley types who are more prevalent today, Jensen can count his options on one hand, almost on one finger.

The one thing on their side is that Jensen, despite his small swell of a stomach, can still keep up with Jared…for now.  He’s throwing up more, wasting more food, but there is a feral quality about him that seems to make him more dangerous.  He still fights just as hard, runs just as fast, and is just as deadly.

Jared still worries about him but he wouldn’t want anyone else watching his back.  Jensen’s still got it.

It all starts to fall apart a few months later.  Jensen tries to fight it but he can’t move like he used to.  His belly is round and protruding and other than his evident exhaustion, he just doesn’t seem physically able to scale walls like he used to or run for cover fast enough.  Jared’s heart almost stops dead in his chest when Jensen’s body gives out and a horde of zombies crowd in on him.  Had Jensen not already had his gun cocked and loaded it would have ended differently.  They make it out alive, covered in guts and pieces of things he would rather not think about, but Jared can tell Jensen is walking funny, that he twisted/sprained/broke something.

After that they stick to smaller towns, become prone to staying in one place longer.  The positives are that Jensen is safe, he can use his rifle to shoot down zombies from a stationary place while Jared handles more of the dead on foot.  The downsides are that supplies are running low and they are competing for a place in the world with people who have already claimed these spaces as their own.

In a world that has no sense or order to it anymore, they still don’t belong.

They stay as long as they can but Jensen is a ticking time bomb.  Everyone knows that.  People would be more welcoming if he was a fucking leper.  It’s the reason they end up on their own again, it’s why they’ve never depend on anyone but themselves.

They go a few days without running into anyone – living or dead – but the need for food and bullets forces their hand, they have to find a larger, more supplied, town to pick apart.

It’s dangerous and even more so due to the fact that Jensen has been out of sorts lately, but their other option is death.  They’ll take their chances with eradicating a zombie infestation; if they fail at least they will die together.

They are doing fine so far, Jensen overcompensating for his clumsiness and weight by being hyper observant.  The town doesn’t seem too overrun, but assuming that is a mistake they’ve only made once.  So they are thorough, they shoot, kill, and re-kill at least 25 rotting assholes in the time it takes to figure out if there is a place they can call home for the evening.

Jared doesn’t vocalize the reason why they are looking for shelter this early in the game is because he’s noticed the wince in Jensen’s side and the sounds of discomfort Jared is sure Jensen thinks he is making under his breath.

They find what they are looking for when they come to a medium sized brick house.  There are iron bars on the windows and an intimidating looking gate around the property.  Everything about the house looks hard.   Despite that, they can see at least 3 zombies ambling around the yard and are certain there are more inside the house.  With the sky darkening quicker than it should, they are running out of time and light and without words they make the decision to take the house.

Months ago it would have been a simple procedure, but Jensen can’t scale the fence so Jared has to waste time jutting it open enough for him to fit through.  By the time that happens, they’ve drawn the attention of anything and everything in a close enough proximity to pick up their scent and crave a big raw helping of their flesh.

Jensen’s on it, he takes down two corpses before they even have a chance to snarl at him.  His gun fire alerts more reinforcements and he takes off around the side of the house.

In the end it is Jared who makes a stupid mistake.  He’s preoccupied with watching Jensen’s retreat, a weird tugging in his gut at he notices how much his husband’s body has changed.  It is a rookie mistake but he doesn’t watch where he is treading and his ankles come in contact with two almost skeletal hands.  The strength in them surprises him and he yells out, tripping over the form of what used to be a man.  He finds half a zombie, body torn under the ribcage and spinal cord dangling like an afterthought, pulling him down, getting Jared behind the knees and gnashing his teeth in a desperate untamed way.

The corpse stinks, there is congealed blood dripping down the parts of his body that are still covered by flesh, and a shiny rotting wetness to the rest of him.  Jared tries to yank the hand holding his gun up, but then he realizes there are two half corpses clamoring to get a piece of him.  The other one, a woman, has less of a torso, but she is almost more intact, like she turned recently.  Her flesh is still a form of peach and her hands still have a metallic coat of red nail polish on them.  The shocking humanity of her features sends Jared’s brain reeling for a moment before he remembers that she isn’t anything close to human – not anymore.  Her teeth snap at him, jaw unhinging far enough for him to see just how far from humanity she has fallen.

His mind careens around options and thoughts, trying to figure out a way get himself out of the situation.  Kicking out wildly, he dislodges the man enough to free his legs, but the woman is wholly on top of him, her bones jutting into his.  If she had a heartbeat he would probably be able to feel it against his chest.

Just then, the zombie jerks and goes still, powering down like she’s run out of batteries.  There is another jerk and her body flops numbly onto him, her deadly jaws slack and broken.  When he looks up, he finds Jensen yanking a knife out of the back of her skull, his arm splattered with blood and a scowl on his lips.  He’s practically growling.

Jared gets on his feet, he can thank his husband later, and whirls around to find where the other reanimated torso has landed.

He shouldn’t have worried.  Though the zombie set his sights on Jensen, Jensen blocks the creature’s attempt to take a hulking bite out of his thigh.  He’s operating just as he always does, which is why he doesn’t really defend his middle when the creature tries again and lands a supernaturally strong punch to Jensen’s pregnant middle in the process.

Thankfully the creature’s jaws miss, but Jensen has the wind knocked out of him.  He sees stars and his vision dims as a bolt of pain zaps through him so quickly and intensely that he thinks maybe he was bitten.

In the end, Jared sends a bullet flying through the zombie’s brain, leaving him to crumple on the ground.  And even though their ammo is running low, he shoots the asshole again because he is that angry it laid its rotting, disgusting hands on Jensen.  The bullet makes the body recoil slightly and Jared hopes that maybe it was still alive so as to suffer through two brain shots.

“You okay?”  Jared kicks the body’s ribcage, splattering gore onto his boots, as he makes his way to Jensen who looks like he is losing his battle with gravity.

“No, I’m not fucking okay.”  Jensen grabs onto Jared to steady himself, accepting the silent offer of assistance with an annoyed twist of his lips.  “What the fuck Jared?  How did you even get into that situation?”

Jared knows it is misplaced anger; Jensen is projecting his fear of seeing Jared almost overtaken by the dead into a false annoyance over having to save his ass.  Instead or answering, he shoots Jensen a glare and stabilizes his husband’s balance enough for them to take slow steps forwards.

They walk towards the house in silence until he hears Jensen grumble under his breath.

“Are _you_ okay?”  Jensen isn’t looking at his husband, but the concern is palpable.

Jared’s heart rate returns to a somewhat normal one.  “I’m better now.”

About five paces from the house Jensen gasps and his knees buckle, the movement tugs Jared down with him momentarily before the taller man strengthens his stance and keeps them upright.

“Shit!”  Jensen’s free hand automatically goes to his belly even though he learned months ago it isn’t capable of solving his ‘problem’.  The pain intensifies and he feels like he is losing control of his body, feeling a spasm of pain radiate out across his middle.  It’s a sharp cramp, but the trickle of hot wetness between his legs is the real reason behind his curse.

“Jen?”  Jared shoulders more of Jensen’s weight and furrows his brow at the man.  The creases in his forehead deepen in concern but his head shoots skyward when he feels a splotch of water hit his cheek.

It’s raining.

That’s both good and bad.  The sky’s premature darkness starts to make sense, but without natural light, navigating a powerless house is going to be tougher.  The noise of the rain, however, will help muffle their movements and hopefully let them stay in one spot for as long as they – or Jensen – need to be.

Jensen stiffens and fights to ignore the pain.  It’s receding now, but there is the promise that it will be back.  “House.  Now.”

The front door is swinging open, ominous and complete with eerie squeaking hinges.  It practically screams “this is a bad idea” but it is the only idea they have. 

The yard is free of the walking dead and Jared secured the gate tightly behind Jensen, it should keep them out for the time being. 

The house is another story.  Jared rears back and kicks the door open entirely, using what little daylight is left to survey the area.  He doesn’t see anything.

Jensen doesn’t wait for Jared to enter first; he ducks inside and swings his body towards the room on the left.  It’s empty, but when he repeats the action towards the room on the right, he swings his gun and shoots before Jared has a chance to fully enter the house.

Jared doesn’t flinch when the shot goes off, but he follows the bullet to its target, a tiny person – a child – lurching towards them.  Her feather light body jerks backwards and collapses almost instantly.  Jensen shoots again and destroys the larger figure approaching from behind her.  With the light sneaking in from the doorway he can see well enough to tell the room is clear, but he’s running out of bullets and the pain in his middle is back.

He sucks it up, gritting his teeth and swallowing a moan as he falls back against the wall to refocus.

Jared gives him a weird look but continues to scope out the rest of the lower level.  One knife to the head and a not so fresh splattering of blood later and all the zombies seem to be taken care of.  He returns to the foyer to lock the front door behind them.  It is a deep seated action, but he does it anyway even though no lock in the world is strong enough to keep the nightmares out.

When he returns, Jensen is gone.  He knows he is upstairs.  Most people see being trapped on the 2nd level of a house as a terrible decision but Jensen likes it better that way.  Zombies are shit climbers and the windows are safer up there; plus, he likes the advantage the raised vantage point gives his sniper shots.

He takes the stairs two at a time, coming to a set of doors, three firmly shut but one swinging open.  He knows he should search the other rooms, but when he hears Jensen growl in a mix of frustration and pain he sprints into the room in search of his husband.  Shut doors will have to be enough of a reassurance of safety for now.

In a room that looks like some type of grand master bedroom, fireplace and all, he finds Jensen shucking off his jacket with a tinge of pain to his actions.

Without the bulky cargo jacket, Jensen’s pregnancy is blatant.  It is hard to miss the roundness of his middle and the way his thermal shirt clings to him.  He looks thin and gaunt, but his middle is round and full, creating a strange contrast.

Jensen finally removes the remainder of his jacket, tugging it free of his left arm with a sickening sticky pulling sound.  He drops it on the floor and comes to terms with his bloody forearm.  There is fresh blood dribbling down his arm and it is only then that Jensen realizes the pain in his middle must have been canceling out the pain in his arm.

Jared’s eyes go wide and his stomach drops out.  Even in the rapidly dimming light he can make out the nauseatingly dark color of wet blood.  His stomach rolls; that color isn’t supposed to be leaking, fresh and alive, out of his husband’s arm.  For a moment, thoughts of exactly what he can lose if the wound is from what Jared is afraid of asking.  “Jensen…”

“I know…I know…”  Jensen hisses as he fishes a canteen from his back pocket, pulls the cap off with his mouth and lets water flow over the wound.  He knows he is wasting water but he needs to see what is going on.  He barely remembers getting wounded, let alone knows what caused it.  The redness washes away, revealing a perfectly straight cut, deep enough to bleed freely but harmless enough that it has the possibility to heal on its own.

“Did you get bitten?”  Jared closes the distance between them, grabbing Jensen’s forearm for inspection.  He pokes at the wound, causing the bleeding to speed up again and prompting a hiss from Jensen.

That would be quite a way to go.  Jensen can’t even fathom getting bitten and not realizing it.  He deserves to die if that is the case.  “No, no.  I don’t think so.  I think I’m good.”

“What do you mean _think_?”

Jensen jerks his hand out of Jared’s hold and realizes his husband is holding on tighter than he thought, holding onto more than just his physical form.  Jared is looking at him with complete fear in his eyes, it is a type of fear one would never expect someone who can decapitate their reanimated sister without batting an eyelash to have.  “I’m good Jay.  It’s not from one of them.  I must have torn it up on that jagged piece of the gate.”

After a skeptical look, Jared’s face goes soft.  “I can’t lose you Jen.  I can’t.”

“You’re not.  At least not now.”  Jensen sighs and his head spins.  He is tired, sore, and still losing blood.  He hasn’t eaten all day and his blood sugar is probably all over the place and now that they are in a brief moment of calm everything hits him at once.  He sways on his feet, roughly widening his stance to keep upright, and curses under his breath as a cramp overtakes his core.

“Jen!” In the process of removing his own jacket, Jared gets tangled up in the sleeves when he stumbles to get closer to Jensen.  For all their grace in combat, both their weaknesses lie with each other and their brains go foggy when worry creeps in.

Jensen tries to wave him off but as another pain hits him he pitches forward into Jared’s arms and lets out a low deep groan.  Both hands find his middle, fingers digging into the tense muscle surrounding the unborn baby.

Jared gets Jensen to the floor, coming to his knees beside him.  His eyes search Jensen’s face, notice how pale it is.  It’s something he should have noticed hours ago but sometimes Jensen is so good at fooling himself into believing he is fine that Jared goes along with it.  Putting a hand to his forehead, unnatural warmth radiates from him.  His husband has a fever.  “You’re infected.”

“No.  I’m in labor.”

Blinking at the revelation, Jared doesn’t know why he has a hard time believing it.  It’s not like Jensen told him he found a cure for this whole zombie epidemic.  It’s something they have been expecting though not necessarily ready for.  “You are?”

Huffing, Jensen tries to alleviate some of the pressure he is feeling by putting both hands behind his back so that he can lengthen his spine out.  “Yeah.  I didn’t think it was anything…but then,” he moans and closes his eyes, keeping them shut through the remainder of his sentence, “then my water broke after the hit I took to the gut.”

“Oh god Jensen…”  Jared ran both hands though his hair as his brain ran away with possibilities.  Though there probably isn't a good time to have a baby anymore, in the middle of the night, in a house they still haven’t deemed safe, set in a town they’ve barely eradicated, is most likely falling closer to being a terrible time.

“Please don’t freak out right now Jared.  Please don’t.  I need you _NOT_ to freak out right now.”  Jensen feels the baby move slightly, a sickening serious reminder of what is going on.

Since the beginning, Jensen tried to separate being pregnant from any type of emotional attachment.  If it became a job, just another difficulty for him and Jared to overcome, then he is certain he can get through it.  He didn’t love this baby, and he definitely didn’t want it, but they’d made a mistake and now he has to face the consequences.

What kind of idiot would want to bring a child into a world that is slowly trying to kill every one of them?

He snarled at another pain running through him and Jared was on him again, roaming his hands across his body in search of some way to magically set the situation right.  The intensifying cramp made him grab Jared’s hands and let out a choked noise.

Jared looks helpless, both want to help his husband but confusion as to how painting his expression.  He is freaking out, but he needed to cut himself off at the pass.  “Hey Jen?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s going to be okay.”

Jensen nods rapidly in response, not wanting to think about what would happen if it wasn’t okay.  “I’m going to deal with _this_ and then we are getting out of here.  We go back north, from where we came.”

The detachment in Jensen’s voice made the stark reality of the situation clear for Jared.  He nods and grabs his husband’s hand more tightly, their dirty grimy fingers curling around each other’s.

*******************

In the time it takes for Jared to rummage through the first floor for enough suitable things to burn and set the master bedroom alight with a successful fire, Jensen is in full blown labor.

Jared meant to check out the other parts of the house but getting light in the bedroom takes priority because things are difficult enough, they don’t need night blindness added to the list.

Not sure how long he actually spent away from his husband, Jared is shocked with how different the man is.  There is wildness to the look in his eyes, like every part of his body is on edge.  Jared can tell Jensen is trying to stifle his noises but every now and then he lets one out and it destroys Jared’s heart.

The thin sheen of sweat on Jensen’s forehead and his pallor are enough to set Jared even closer to the edge.  There is a bed in the room but Jensen seems adamant not to use it and he keeps close to the fire, back up against the wall and legs splayed open.  He looks lost in the large setting, but he somehow looks just as disheveled as the rest of the room’s adornments, just as torn up and tired.

“Hey.”  Sitting back on his heels, Jared swipes a hand over Jensen’s forehead, pulling back in dismay when he is certain the man is running hotter.

“Mother fucker…”  The comment isn’t directed at Jared, it’s a direct result of the pressure exploding low in his hips.

“Your fever is worse.”

“Doesn’t mean anything.”  Jensen shifts, his hands subconsciously rubbing soothing circles over his lower stomach.  He can feel things speeding up, feel the contractions getting closer together and more intense.  Most discerning of all is the fact that he can feel the baby’s head low in his pelvis.  For weeks he has been able to feel the shift, but now it is so intense and uncomfortable and just _there_.

“Doesn’t _not_ mean anything.  It can mean…”  Jared hates to push the issue but the wound on Jensen’s forearm looks bad and he is burning up.  All signs point to infection, all cruel unfair heart wrenching signs.

“I _know_ what it can mean.  It’s nothing.”  Jensen thumps his head back against the wall.  He knows nothing about giving birth even though he is smart enough to know that ignoring the eminent was probably a bad idea.  The only thing he is banking on is hoping the few facts he does know are enough to get him through this.  Oddly, one of the things he can remember is that his sister-in-law developed a fever when she was in labor and no one seemed worried then.  He groans and looks up at Jared, catching his concern laden stare.  “Help me get these off.”

Jared helps the man rid himself of his pants and underwear, leaving him in only a torn bloody t-shirt.  It clings to Jensen’s belly, making Jared feel uncomfortable just looking at the physical reminder of the trouble they’ve gotten into.  He sees the way Jensen is shaking, he can practically tell exactly where Jensen is falling apart, letting go of the tough exterior only Jared knows how to get behind.  “It’s okay if you’re scared right now.”

“I’m not scared.”  Jensen’s lie is almost flawless.  If it hadn’t been for the quick flick of his gaze towards the ceiling, Jared would have believed him.  “I just want this to be over.”  His wish is punctuated with a low moan and pained grimace.

Waiting for his husband to come back down from the pain, Jared rubs his thigh soothingly.  “How long do you think it will be….before this is over?”

It’s a question Jensen can’t answer.  He would have said 30 minutes ago when he thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, but then it did and now he is suffering through it at closer intervals.  He lets his anger at the situation slip and pants out an aching breath.  “God it hurts Jared…”  He chokes on an inhale and his lungs sputter in an attempt to right themselves.  It is becoming too much.  The exhaustion, the hunger, and the blood loss are pulling him down, making him want to give up.

“I know it hurts.  But you’re doing really good.  It’s going to be okay.  You’re going to be okay.  Just keep breathing Jen.”  Jared sits between Jensen’s spread legs and tries to wrap his brain around the situation.  He doesn’t know what he is doing as much as Jensen doesn’t, but he knows keeping Jensen breathing and calm can only help.  He finds himself learning forward to brush damp hair out of Jensen’s face and breathing deeply in hopes of his husband focusing in on what he was doing.

“Shit it hurts, it really hurts…”  Jensen, eyes squeezed shut and body tenser than he’s ever thought it could be, finds it hard to control his lungs.  The pain makes it feel like he is drowning in it, like if he doesn’t get above it he will asphyxiate.

Jared needs to get the house locked down, he needs to assess their supplies and the situation, but everything goes straight to hell when Jensen calls out his name, grabs his wrist and glares at him like a dog backed into a corner.  In that instant nothing needs to be done other than making that look go away.  He scrambles up to sit beside the man, if only for the moment, and presses a kiss to his temple.  It doesn’t solve anything but the urge to do it overpowers logic.  “I’m right here.”

Jensen wrinkles up his nose and breathes out deeply into Jared’s shoulder.  His body is working on its own, and whether he wants it or not, he is going to have a baby…soon. 

When Jensen was a kid he had a cat that got out one night and ended up pregnant.  He remembers how she hid under his parents’ bed and gave birth to a litter of kittens, hiding away from her human guardians and leaving a bloody stain on the carpet.  In that instant Jensen feels very much like that cat, like the animal he thinks he deserves to be.  He glances over towards the large four poster bed and wants terribly to escape from sight, hide so that maybe the pain and his fate will not find him.  So intense is the desire to hide away from everything that he actually makes a movement to shield himself.  But then he remembers it is Jared’s arms around him, and he shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t hide from his husband.  Jared needs to see him, needs to help him.  “Jared…I…”  The words end in a muffled yell as he bites his lip.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“Can you...can you check?  I dunno…do something?  Can you…”  He curls his hand around Jared’s thigh and plants his feet firmly on the floor.  His legs are splayed wider, a position he took without consciously thinking about it.  He is done with words, feeling utterly helpless at being stuck in a situation he cannot use a gun to solve.

Jared smooths his husband’s hair back one last time before twisting Jensen towards the fire so the light makes whatever he is going to attempt to do more visible.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I can do that.”

When he looks between Jensen’s thighs he sucks in his breath, body reeling back in momentary shock.  He has no idea what he is looking at but it is _something_ and for the first time in over a year he misses his mother.  The thought pops into his head before he understands why, but he realizes she would know what to do more than he does.

Jensen grips the sides of his stomach and pitches forward slightly.  “Nngh!”  He feels a pain different than all the others and the urge to bear down rides on its tail.  “Gotta push Jay.”  He doesn’t wait for a response, letting his body push downward and try to expel the baby.  “Fuck!”  Pushing through the pain, he swears he feels the pressure move downward and it makes him inhale sharply.

Litanies of reassurances come out of Jared’s mouth on loop.  He has no idea if Jensen is doing well or not but he isn’t going to voice that concern.  Everything Jensen has ever done has been perfect; he is praying that the man’s record stays that way.  “Keep going Jen.”

Hand floundering, Jensen finds something to grip on and pushes again, vocalizing the effort with a grunt.  It I only a matter of time before he lets out a yell, his voice hoarse from holding in his screams for a majority of the night.  His inhalation is loud and fills the silence before being replaced by another yowl.

It breaks Jared’s heart to even ask this, but Jensen is being loud – really loud – and there is no doubt that he is going to attract the kind of unwanted attention they’ve trained themselves to avoid.  “Jen, baby, try to be quiet.  Please.”  His eyes plead with his husband, regret for even having to ask saturating them.  “Please baby.  _Please._ ”  Jared knows Jensen would be silent if he could help it, but he begs for quiet anyway.

“Tryin’,”  Jensen grunts and tries to keep a yell in, but when he pushes again and feels a discomforting stretch and burn, a much bigger stretch than he’s ever imagined he should feel, he lets out another loud shout on his next exhalation. 

Despite the pain and the urge to just _get the fucking thing out of him_ Jensen freezes when he hears a sound from the first floor.  Jared hears it too.  It’s the sound of something dragging, like something shoving into a piece of furniture.  They think maybe it is nothing but then a vase shatters and something else thuds.

Two pairs of eyes wild with adrenaline meet.  The sounds are definitely _not_ nothing. 

They hear a groan from the first floor and they both know exactly what type of something is down there.

Looking torn, Jared purses his lips.  “Jen, I gotta go take care of it.  I gotta.  If…”

Struggling to get the words out, Jensen snarls.  He isn’t mad at Jared, but the pain makes it hard not to sound like he is.  “Go.  No guns.  Knives.”

Jared understands.  The gunshot is easier but it comes with the price of potentially drawing more corpses in their direction.  He moves swiftly, ducking down to grab his knives where he’s discarded them.  He’s almost out the door in less than ten seconds but he looks over his shoulder at his laboring husband before going into the darkness his eyes are quickly adjusting to.  “I’ll be right back.”

“You better be.”  Jensen’s chest rises and falls rapidly, but he doesn’t have the energy or the determination to give Jared a better goodbye.  Instead he internalizes a yell and keeps pushing, wanting to show his husband up and get this done before he even returns.

In between pushing, giving himself a brief moment to rest, he hears a scuffle downstairs.  Something else is knocked over and there is another thud but it is too sudden to make him think it could possibly be Jared.  His ears perk up when he hears another noise, a closer one.  It sounds like a scratching or a dragging.  It is faint but it is definitely getting closer.

He should have heard it earlier but most of his attention was elsewhere and his ears were filled with own heart hammering.

His body is on fire with the need to push again and it is turning on him for not giving into the urge.  Instead and stares at the open doorway, cursing under his breath when the torn up body of a teenage boy takes a jerky movement towards him.  The flames from the fire cast enough light for him to see the bones protruding on his leg and the shredded decayed look of his flesh, but the part that puts the most fear into him is that his lifeless eyes turn straight towards him.

He’s practically a sitting duck.

The zombie snarls and lets out a hungry moan, biting at the air several times before shuffling in on its useless left leg.  He’s not fast but there isn’t much ground to cover between him and Jensen.

Jensen’s eyes split time between staring at the approaching creature and the gun still shoved in his discarded pants.  Sucking in a breath and powering through the discomfort, he makes a grab for the gun while keeping his eyes on the teenager.

The corpse is a hair’s breadth away from him by the time he yanks the gun free, he can practically feel the stink in the air and it's heavy on his cheek.  It's reaching over Jensen from between his spread legs, seeming too intent on going for his chest than an easier target.  Coming almost nose to nose with a face not even a mother could love, Jensen shoots.  The gun goes off much too close to his head and his ears are ringing, sound drowned out by the temporary hearing loss.  He sees the corpse crumble and fall directly beside him, face turned up so that his dead eyes are still locked on Jensen’s.  He keeps the gun pointed and tries to keep himself from throwing up.

That’s exactly how Jared finds him when he returns, drawn by the sudden sound of a gunshot.

Jensen is looking at him wildly, gun still pointed at the zombie and lungs put almost to the point of hyperventilation.

Leave it to his husband to shoot a fucking zombie while in labor.  The fact doesn’t surprise Jared.

Jared lets his bloody knives clatter to the floor, certain that he’s cleared the house for now.  He killed two zombies that must have stumbled up from the basement and also found a live cat.  He killed that too, making sure to use a clean knife.  It isn’t pretty, but they need dinner and he is fairly sure the cat would do the same thing if their roles in the world were reversed.  "So much for no guns, Jensen."

"Fuck you!"  Jensen comes back to reality and groans when he finds himself fully in the throes of labor again.  His hand clatters to the floor but his gun is still firmly in his grip.

Jared wants to help him, but he doesn’t trust Jensen with the weapon still in his hand.

Jensen with a gun is deadly.  Jensen with a gun while in labor is unpredictable.

Staying out of the gun’s range, Jared manages to get the weapon away, letting his fingers carefully pry it away while rubbing a familiar hand across his husband’s middle.

Gun taken care of, he pulls Jensen’s legs open wider.  The baby seems to be on its own schedule and doesn’t have time for impromptu zombie attacks; its head is more than visible as Jensen goes back to pushing.  “Come on, push baby.  The head is right there Jensen.”

He doesn’t need Jared to tell him about that fact, Jensen can feel it.  He pushes, grunts and pushes again.  A clap of thunder sounds and he thinks for once maybe something is on their side.  The next time he yells it gets drowned out in the storm.  Staring at Jared, both men are determined and focused.  It is that connection they’ve always had that gets him through the next push.

It’s gotten to the point where Jared doesn’t care how much noise his husband makes.  He’s watching Jensen struggle and suffer and if the yelling helps then it doesn’t matter if he has to knife twenty more maggot infested dirt bags.  He’ll do it.

With a sudden strong push, Jensen gets the baby’s head out.  The feeling is surreal, but he doesn’t have much time to focus on it.  Things speed up and go out of focus.  He hears Jared telling him to push, remembers thinking that they are stupid commands because his body knows _exactly_ what it is doing.  He bears down several more times, his hands automatically going towards the almost completely birthed baby.  Locking eyes again with the dead corpse at his side he growls as he finally pushes the child completely into the world and into his hands.

He holds onto the baby with both hands because he doesn’t know what else to do with it.  He didn’t anticipate delivering it in the way that he did, but now that it is here he can’t figure out where to put it.

Jared is looking at him, relief painting his features.  “It’s a boy Jen.”

And it is.  Jensen glances down to the newborn, still disgusting and covered in birth fluids.  He is in so much pain but the rush of being done with the birth gives him a false sense of strength.  It is hard to think straight but he looks down at the baby, hoping he can feel some kind of…anything. 

Only he doesn’t.  He doesn’t feel any joy or happiness or any other emotion one would equate with having a baby with the person you love more than life itself.  Instead he mostly feels sad and hopeless.  He doesn’t want to hold the thing anymore, can’t bear to look at it.

Even if the baby is alive now, it’ll be dead soon enough.  It seems foolish to care about it.

He contemplates leaving it beside the dead corpse once the repulsive slippery umbilical cord and placenta are ridded from his body.

But then something he never expected happens.  The baby lets out a loud cry, a wail so strong that Jensen thinks his silence before hand was all in preparation for this moment.    It destroys something in Jensen and a desire bred into humanity for years takes over as he cradles the baby to his chest.  “Shh…”

He still doesn’t have warm and fuzzy feelings about the baby but his need to comfort his son kicks in and he wraps him up in both arms.

Jared falls back on his heels completely dumfounded.  He doesn’t know what to think but watching Jensen with their son is doing weird things to his perspective.  There is a possessiveness tugging at his core and it makes no sense.  He is smart enough to know that keeping that baby would mean murder.  But intelligence isn’t a factor in whatever his heart is figuring out.

The baby lets out another set of whimpering wails and Jensen shushes again in his ear.  The storm is still drowning out the noises they are making but that doesn’t mean Jensen likes hearing them all the same.  He looks down at his son again, he still feels hopeless but there is something else growing as well.  He has to give his son credit, the baby fought just as hard as he and Jared have to be here.  Studying the fussing baby, he is struck by how healthy he looks.  In a world full of the dead it is shocking to see life figuring out how to keep going.  But there his son is, alive and pink and almost chubby.  The baby figured out how to keep a firm grip on Jensen’s womb despite the man’s attempts to yank him out.  He kicked and punched and fought to be acknowledged, but it isn’t until he is laying there completely vulnerable that Jensen is able to appreciate how incredibly strong he is.

He flicks his eyes up to Jared’s and hopes his husband can see what is going on.  Covering his eyes with his free hand splayed across his face, Jensen finally lets himself cry.  It is brief and more the result of frustration, but it is still a cry.

“Here Jensen, let me.”  Jared makes slow movements until he is sure Jensen is on board with his actions.  He gingerly removes the newborn from his father’s arms and cleans him off with a scrap of fabric.  The baby opens his eyes for the first time, letting Jared appreciate the sharpness in them.  They’re just like Jensen’s.

It scares him to the core.

He’d rather come face to face with dozens of the walking dead than decide this child has no chance in the world.

Who is he to make that decision?

But to not make it would be madness.

Instead of dealing with the fact, Jared gets the baby’s umbilical cord tied off, slices it with a clean knife, and wraps him in a discarded shirt.  The shirt is covered in Jensen’s and the dead’s blood, but if the kid wants to stick around, he better get used to it.

He passes the baby back to Jensen just in time to help his husband deliver the placenta, grabbing an overturned garbage pail to catch it in.  Even though he has no idea what direction this night has pointed them in, Jared has ideas for the placenta.  It’s living tissue; it can be bait or a distraction or anything else the zombies feel like making it.  But its use is for later, now he needs to deal with the living.

The room smells like death and birth and all things gory but it is a brief moment of peace.

“I can’t leave him here.”  Jensen pushes up against the wall, sitting straighter and sounding resolute. The words shock him but he means them with every ounce of his being.  He thought he would hate this thing that made his life so difficult for the last months.  And even though his son is going to make things harder for some time to come, he doesn’t feel an ounce of hate.  It’s cliché, but he wants to keep him safe.

“Jen…”

“No Jared, I can’t.  I want to.  It would be easier to.  But I can’t.  He’s yours and he’s mine and he has every right to live in this shithole if he wants to.”  Jensen curls an arm around the infant.  The newborn’s cries have faded away and he is busy blinking up blindly at his father.

“I wasn’t going to suggest leaving him.  I was going to say he needs a name.  We can’t keep calling him ‘it’ can we?”  Jared is back at Jensen’s side watching his husband’s mini-me move a hungry mouth in search of _anything_.

Jensen blinks, he’s coming down from his adrenaline rush and he feels shocks of pain coming from his abused body but he is still tense with the need to figure out what they are going to do in the next five minutes let alone the next five days.  “Evan.  Didn’t you want a son named Evan?  Thought you told me that once, after we were married.”

Touched that Jensen remembers the fact, along with almost every other detail of their life before _this_ life, Jared lets a smile creep onto his face.  It has been so long since he’d found an occasion to smile that is feels odd, odd but good.  “Yeah, I did.  It means warrior.  I once thought that was appropriate, didn’t predict that it would be even more so now.”

Jensen lets Jared’s smile transfer over to him.  For once in the last year, he forces himself to pretend the world is normal again, that their son is going to grow up, that there aren’t hordes of the undead intent on ripping them to shreds.  “Evan.  You’re Evan.”  He drops a kiss onto Evan’s damp hair and suddenly feels guilty for thinking giving birth to him was a punishment.  “I’m sorry that we’re your dads in this fucked up time, we don’t exactly live easy lives.  You picked a shitty time to be born.  But I promise we are strong enough to protect you.  You’re just going to have to learn to work with us, okay?”

Jared kisses Jensen’s temple, then jaw, then lips.  “Don’t apologize for being his dad.  Any other person wouldn’t be crazy enough to attempt what I think you’re thinking.”

He doesn’t have to verbalize his thoughts to let Jared know he is on the right track.  “Everyone is right.  We are madmen.”  His stomach growls, running on empty for far too long. 

“Probably.  It’s why I fell in love with you.”  Jared watches as Jensen tries to shift Evan so that the boy’s face is near a nipple exposed by a deep rip in his t-shirt.  It’s unnerving seeing Jensen doing something so nurturing, but it’s unsurprising when he is successful and their son’s hungry lips are greedily pulling at his first meal.  Jared knows he should get some real food into Jensen, feed himself as well, and thoroughly make sure the house is safe for the night, and maybe the next few days.  Jensen’s shot and Jared isn’t going to risk moving him before he’s ready.

Wincing, Jensen gets familiar with his son feeding.  Jared is on the exact same page as him, he’s just as crazy as him, and it is the reason he fell in love with him as well.  It’s why he still loves him, why he wouldn’t want to do _this_ with anyone else, he wouldn’t even attempt it.  He might love Evan like that too, but not yet.  He’s getting there, quickly, but it is still too new to understand.

The sun is coming up over the horizon, painting the town an eerie pink.  It would almost be pretty if Jensen was able to ignore the stumbling forms of zombies he can make out through the window at his side.  He’s been so consumed with battling death that he forgot the power of life. 

If this moment is all he can have of the old normal, then he is going to take it.  Jared is nestled in next to him and Evan is eating like a champ and if this is the last time he ever gets to feel like this, then so be it.

Who is the world to tell them they can’t have each other and their son?

Jensen thinks the world needs to fuck off.  It clearly hasn’t seen just what he and Jared are capable of.

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://www.flickr.com/photos/85421651@N04/8501844438/)   
> 
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> Mpreg!Jensen manip by etoile_etiolee. Thanks doll! I love that he is badass...yep...zombies should fear mpreg!Jensen.


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